jobly-ness

squeeeeee.

The Wisdom Teeth Saga

Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever again.

The other three will remain until I either forget about how much this hurts or they start to hurt more than this hurts.

I am about to attempt eating some macaroni and cheese, even though my jaw is not really working. Will report back.

Division of Capital - Household Pets vs. Twentysomething

Puggles is considered the richest because he cost the most at the time of purchase. I don't know exactly how much he cost, and it's rude to ask him, so I'm going to say $300. He also owns two (2) blankets, for an estimated total of $20, and he has approximately $70 worth of toys. It probably cost about $100 to get him fixed. He owns a bed ($50), and I would say his share of the couch is equal to about $110. Therefore, of the pets, Puggles has the most capital ($650).

Socks is next because she is the senior executive of LoosCatsCo and therefore she don't take no shit from no one. She is worth an estimated $152. She was free from a farm, so she doesn't have an initial investment cost. I pay her $1 a year to keep my pillow warm ($12). She owns a CatSpa, which I estimate to be worth an approximate $20 value. She currently owns approximately $5.40 in cat treats. I estimate, after depreciation, her surgery to get spayed probably cost about $90 (12 years is a long time.) The remaining $24.60 is what she plays on the stock market.

I estimate Willy/Babycat has an estimated asset value of $50. This is for when she finally gets around to writing the heartwarming story of my stealing her from the high school courtyard and bringing her into a nice, warm home. It's going to be one of those Hallmark movies. When she gets around to it.

Then there's me. I have an estimated value of -$17,000.

Therefore, a designer mutt, an old cranky calico, and a smelly midget cat that lived in the high school courtyard all have a higher net worth than me, an almost 22 year old, human, career college graduate.

Win!

Injuries that only a Jenn could get

Alright, so my tongue has been bleeding pretty constantly for approximately four hours.
I bit it while eating spaghetti.
So I decide that I'm sick of swallowing blood and it's starting to make me feel pretty sick.
I do some Google-fu, which tells me to rinse it with salt water. And then apply a moistened teabag to the area, as something in it will soothe the pain or stop the blood or something. So I do this.
Even in October when I got drunk and fell over a bike, thereby putting my bottom tooth through my lip, I did not do a saltwater rinse. Holy fuck, that is so gross.
But sucking on a teabag is absolutely as disgusting as it sounds.

Carry on.