Take Your Childhood and Edit It

Random House, famous paperback publisher, has recently updated and re-released the Sweet Valley High series of books. With this, I have no problem at all. I wonder why, but still, anything that gets kids to read is a good thing.

What I do have issue with? The following letter:
in which Random House proudly promotes eating disorders.

In this, we find out that the Wakefield twins, who used to be "a perfect size six" are now "a perfect size four". They no longer drive a red Fiat, but instead, a red Jeep Wrangler. Elizabeth is no longer an editor at her school's newspaper, but is now an editor of the school's website and an Anonymous blog writer.

SERIOUSLY. Please, please, please, whoever's idea this was: do not pass go, do not collect $200. I understand it's just Sweet Valley High. It is not earth shattering literature by any means, in any way, shape, or form. How could you? HOW COULD YOU? Mutilating my childhood in order to make it a "perfect size four", a red Wrangler, and last but not least, killing the Oracle?

This makes me really sad for no reason in particular. Series like Sweet Valley High and the Babysitter's Club had a hokey 80s quality about them that should not be messed with. It's just not fair and it shouldn't happen. Those characters existed BEFORE websites and Internetz and MP3s. Keep them that way.

I know SVH is no Shakespeare, but c'mon. Even Nancy Drew classics, while edited of some of their original racism and other things that weren't completely necessary, stayed true to their stories. Are you trying to tell me kids today can't fathom a life before computer screens and cell phones? That they can't even use their imaginations to identify with a story where a main character writes for a newspaper, like an actual paper one?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be in the corner reading me some Goosebumps and thinking of simpler times.

Peace,
J.