Stress Dot

I went to a meeting tonight about effective ways of dealing with stress and such.

We were each handed these tiny black dots and told them to put them on a pulse point.

I took one and placed it on my wrist.

A few minutes later it was still black.

I took another one and put it between my thumb and index finger.

A few minutes later it was still black.

I was laughing and such, pretty relaxed, no dice.

I came home, chilled out, still black.

Now, what are the odds that two dots are defective? Not too hot, no.

I drank a couple cups of tea, figuring sure, that'll relax me.

Nah. Still black.

I fail at relaxing.

So I do some googling, right, and find this: http://www.onlineorganizing.com/PopupProductInfo.asp?page=249&info=182

HOW TO USE STRESS DOTS

• apply a dot to the back of your hand between the thumb and forefinger
  measure your present stress level by matching the color of your dot to the chart
  colors corresponding to higher skin temperatures signify deeper levels of relaxation H'okay. Done and did.
  
• increase your level of relaxation by practicing the simple techniques on the card
  Oh yeah? Simple techniques on the card include laughing, and spending time with a loved one. So I go down to see Socks and I notice she has vomited on my wicker chair. Still black.
  
• measure your stress level again by matching the color of your dot to the chart
  if your dot has changed color to a higher skin temperature, you are more relaxed Right. But what if that doesn't happen? If your dot stays black, do you have a black heart of darkness? What did I dooooo?
  
• leave the dot on your hand to monitor your stress level throughout the day IT IS JUST STAYING BLACK.
  
• will increase your awareness of your response to stress YES. IT WILL STRESS ME OUT TRYING TO MAKE IT TURN A PRETTIER COLOUR.
  
• if you note a change to a colder color, practice a relaxation technique HOWS ABOUT IT JUST STAYS COLD, YO?
  

FACTORS INFLUENCING YOUR RESULTS

• dots will react to any mental or physical stressor Yeah, one like CONSTANTLY WONDERING WHY THE DOT IS STILL BLACK?
  
• you will register a cooler temperature if you are sick SO NOW I AM SICK? THAT DOESN'T STRESS ME OUT AT ALL!
  
• you will register a cooler temperature if you drink 2+ cups of caffeinated beverage DING DING DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNNNNER!
  
• you will register a cooler temperature if you have just eaten
  
• you will register a cooler temperature if you have not eaten in a long time
  
• you will register a cooler temperature if you just finished exercising PSHAW. THIS IS NOT WHY.
  
• check your skin temperature at least 1/2 hour after exercising or eating
  
• designed for use in ambient temperatures of 68°-78°F.
  
• the temperature you start at is not as important as the learned ability to relax
  

I hate you, stress dots. You cause me insane amounts of stress.