advice #0005

Dear Jenn,
I met a girl on an online dating site and we really click. We spend all night talking to each other on aim and we have even changed out facebook statuses to "in a relationship". I think we are getting pretty serious; I've even checked out airfare prices to Illinois but I'm still slightly skeptical. What do you think I should do?

Dear Slightly Delusional Seeker of Online "Love",

You met her online and you really "click", hey? I'm happy for you.

Fundamentally, I know a lot of online relationships have worked out well, because whenever you mock online dating fifty people line up behind you to say "I met my wife/ex-wife/husband/escort/fuckbuddy/stalker online and it's working out wonderfully!". Good for you.

Changing your Facebook status is not really a big event. If you both are desperate people, seeing "In a Relationship" on your Facebook page might give you a hit of self esteem when you look at it. It doesn't really mean you're "in a relationship". One could argue that you and I are currently "in a relationship" - I am the writer and you are the reader. That's a relationship. We've become a Facebook centralized society. I could write on Facebook that I am the Queen of England. This doesn't make it so. You are currently "in a relationship" with someone you've never met. That's a little odd to me.

Being the crazy old maid that I am, destined for a life of lonliness and being a crazy cat lady - I would say proceed with caution. I can't tell you whether this "relationship" is worth persuing, because frankly, I know you're going to persue it anyway.

If you want to do the online dating thing, I'm tempted to say go to Craigslist and find someone closeby, at the very least. That way you don't have to spend all sorts of money and relocate. You can see her in person before you climb into her bed, just in case she's really gross or a man or something. You always have an out if you're close to home - "I think I forgot to turn off my coffeemaker!" is one of my favourites.

So, I'm going to tell you to think very hard about this girl and whether you're willing to carry on with a long distance relationship. Do you like her or do you like the idea of her? Also, you need to stop seeing Facebook statuses as milestones. They're not.

Hope you don't catch anything that's hard to pronounce!

Jennifer "hope you ask for proof of health" Loos